Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
