she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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