And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
