What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
