You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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