Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
