So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well I just put wine in my tea
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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