i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
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