i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize