so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
