I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
