my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
