If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
