He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
