Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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