You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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