to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
