that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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