He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
