I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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