I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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