hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
