He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
