I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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