we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just gargled with NyQuil
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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