My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
