How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
