on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
