nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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