what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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