Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
