I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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