I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
