the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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