He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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