Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize