After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
