There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
