She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
where am i from again
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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