i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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