oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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