You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
