I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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