I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
