we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
