dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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