K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
