I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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