im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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