I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
