So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
