I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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