He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
