have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
