is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
