The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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