So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
