Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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