new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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