Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
