I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
